Hello friends!

We (sadly) said our goodbyes to everyone in Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa and headed to Manzini, Swaziland where we will be for the last stretch of this trip! Here are a few moments I captured from our travels…

Safari Time

As is typical when you’re in Africa, we had to go on a safari!!!!

We have now been in Manzini for almost 2 weeks (time has been flying!!!) and these two weeks have been hard to put into words. In every way, Manzini is completely different than anywhere I have been. As we settle in, there will be many more words to come about Manzini. But I wanted to share something beautiful I’ve been waling through these past few weeks and I hope it can be an encouragement to some!

A Season Of Singleness

To be blunt, relationships have always been in an idol in my life. I can’t remember a period where I have gone 1 year (or even 6 months) without pursing a relationship in some or fashion. Male affirmation has always been something that I have strived towards. I have placed SO much of my worthy in what men in my life have said about me. I have even placed so much worth into relationships to the extent of feeling like I lack worth and purpose if I’m not in a relationship. Within this, I settled. I settled heavy for being in ANY relationship because I felt any relationship was better than no relationship. I settled for relationships filled with brokenness which sent me into even more confusion. This greatly warped my self image and my idea of what love looks like.

Even after coming to know the Lord, I continued to struggle with this idol. And it wasn’t until a few weeks ago, this idol that had been hidden in the dark was brought to light. And I knew that the surrender of something I’ve held onto for so long was needing to take place. This really scared me to be honest. It was a place of comfort and control. Ephesians 5:13-14 came alive in my life…

“But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, ‘Awake , O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.'”

I felt terrified to let go of something I had held so close to me for so long. Despite the discomfort, I felt Christ shining His face on me. And I feel blessed to have those supporting and holding me accountable surrounding me in this. I had always seen singleness as a place to escape, and a place that lacked purpose. But I am slowly beginning to see that singleness is a BEAUTIFUL season FILLED with purpose. So far I have discovered three things…

1. I’m learning there is a deep longing and need inside me that no one, nor any thing can fill, besides God. And, as I dive deeper into understanding and experiencing His love for me, along with His grace and gentle care for me, and understanding that it is inexhaustible, it is only then that I am able to extend that same love to others in my life.
2. Within singleness, it is an ordained time that I get to pursue the Lord with complete undistracted devotion. That is a GIFT!
3. Seasons of dating, engagement and marriage are all beautiful. And I do pray that one day I will get experience all of those. But I’m realizing I can trust God with these seasons because I believe He deeply cares about when these seasons of dating, engagement and marriage happen and who this season happens with. And I believe the Lord actually cares about this far more than I can understand. Studying the relationship between Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24 has shown me His heart for these seasons of life. But until then, I get to come to Him daily and rest in knowing that I am completely loved and known by the creator of the universe! I am made by Him and for Him!!! And I get to devote season of my life to Him in a beautiful way.

I’m still learning so much but I feel excited and expectant of Him to do such good work in my heart and to show me beautiful things during this time!

With much love, Kaitlyn